Breaking Free: What I’ve Learned About Addiction and the Dopamine Economy

The Game You’ve Already Won

Here’s the brutal truth about addiction: it’s playing a game you’ve already won. Whether it’s reaching Legend in Hearthstone, getting that perfect Tetris score, or building the ultimate FIFA team – once you’ve “won,” continuing to play becomes a trap. The same principle applies to porn, video games, and countless other modern dopamine traps.

I know this because I’ve been there.

My Story: The Unholy Trinity

In high school, I was caught in what I call the “unholy trinity” for young men: porn, video games, and endless digital consumption. The porn addiction was the worst – a living hell that drained my dopamine reserves and left me feeling empty and ashamed.

Now I’m 2-3 years clean from porn (I don’t even remember the last time I watched it) and about 8 months free from video games. It wasn’t easy, but understanding the mechanics of addiction changed everything.

Understanding the Dopamine Economy

Think of dopamine as your brain’s currency – and it’s in short supply when modern life constantly inflates the costs. Every notification, scroll, and click extracts a price from your dopamine reserves.

The equation is simple:

• Dopamine drains: porn, video games, endless scrolling, constant music
• Dopamine sources: exercise, meaningful relationships, challenging work, real accomplishments

The key insight? You can both cut dopamine spending AND increase dopamine production simultaneously.

Why We Get Addicted

With any addiction, ask yourself: “Why doesn’t this person get what they need from real life?”

Addictions are rational, self-sabotaging behaviors that happen because the person can’t see the long-term light at the end of the tunnel. They’re distractions from something deeper we’re avoiding or lacking.

For me, the porn addiction was about not knowing how to connect with real women. The video games were about avoiding the harder game of building an actual life worth living.

The 2x Pain Multiplier

Life has a built-in negativity bias – pain hits twice as hard as pleasure feels good. This applies to addiction too. The crash after the dopamine hit is always worse than the high was good.

Understanding this helped me reframe temptation. Whenever I felt the urge to relapse, I’d remember: “You know this is hell. You’ve been there before.”

Practical Steps to Break Free

1. Add Friction to the Bad

• Disable incognito mode (removes easy porn access)
• Set your phone to swipe mode for emails
• Remove apps that trap your attention

2. Subtract Friction from the Good

• Make exercise equipment visible
• Keep books nearby, not your phone
• Design your environment for success

3. Start Good Addictions

Get addicted to the right things:

• Exercise (natural dopamine production)
• Reading and learning (builds better mental models)
• Real relationships and social connection
• Creating something meaningful

4. The Daily Cure

There’s a cure for addiction, but it only works once a day. You need to renew it every morning through constant improvement – less bad habits, more good ones, through experiments and course correction.

The Coffee Paradox

I’ll be honest – I’m still figuring out some things. Take caffeine: too much makes me anxious, too little makes me depressed. I can’t quit cold turkey (I prefer “warm turkey” – gradually weaning off).

Maybe caffeine is what helps us fit the modern world, or maybe it’s another crutch. The key is asking: “Does this make me a better person?”

Real Life is the Best Game

Here’s what I’ve learned: real life is the best video game, the best movie. The difference is that YOU design the game, YOU write the story.

Once you break free from the dopamine traps, you can invest your attention, energy, and mental resources into building something that actually matters.

A Message of Hope

If you’re struggling with addiction – whether it’s porn, games, social media, or anything else – know that change is possible. The dopamine drain is a terrible toll to pay, but you don’t have to keep paying it.

Start with one small change. Add friction to one bad habit. Remove friction from one good one. Build better explanations for why you want to change, and your predictive power will improve. You’ll start to see the path forward.

Remember: you’re not broken. You’re just playing the wrong game.

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If you’re struggling with porn addiction specifically, feel free to reach out. I’m happy to share practical tips based on what worked for me. You’ve got this.